On the subject of fun

     Why is it that nobody wants you to have fun anymore.  People see you enjoying yourself and immediately want to curb your enthusiasm.  I was thinking this while dancing with myself in the canned fruit aisle of Wal-Mart.  (I added that just to see what they'd do to me... )
      You can't smoke anywhere public anymore.  Some cities have even enacted ordinances that you can be fined if you smoke in your own house with the window open.  You can't go to the beach and kick back with some brewskis anymore, because not only will you have to worry about getting pulled over AFTER you leave the beach, some places are even harassing people who haven't even left the beach.  Not a day goes by anymore where there isn't some action being taken in political circles to either increase taxes on, or maybe even outright curb the sales of fast food.
    I say its time to take back the fun from the fun police.  Do something spontaneous and fun.  The more strange looks you get, the better, if you ask me.  Let them know you refuse to be bopttled up in a PC world.  Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go run through the aisles at Wal-Mart (I did it again...) singing "I'm a Little Teacup".

Time and Tide

I was looking online yesterday, because i was curious what Grace Slick's (of Jefferson Airplane) real name was.  I was surprised to find out the girl has gotten OLD.  Of course, she's only slighly younger than my father, which I did not know until I looked it up. (And FYI, her name is Grace Barnett Wing) . But age has taken hold of her.

Yes, I know, it does everybody.  Even me.  I don't look like the twin of my high school graduation picture anymore.  But I got to wondering how the other heartthrobs of my younger days were looking now.  And at the risk of being called chauvinistic, I decided to post a few of them.

Linda Ronstadt

Olivia Newton-John

But not all have aged badly.  Some look pretty damn good for their age....

Emmylou Harris

Stevie Nicks

Ann-Margret

(she's the one on the left.  Lindsey Lohan just wishes she'll look that good at that age...)

Hollywood, being Hollywood, you can't say for sure whether these pictures are the real results of age or if the good-looking ones just have more plastic in their bodies than a truck of bottled water.  And this is not meant as a commentary on getting old as much as a regret that our fleeting fantasies of the beauties of our memories do not keep up with the reality.  I still have my Farrah Fawcett poster from the 70's, but even she barely resembled it towards the end of her life.  And I'd still rather remember Ann_Margret ca. 1964 (Viva Las Vegas )  than from the 1990s ( Grumpy old Men ) 

The Best Comic Book Series Ever

     I always liked the Marvel stable of heroes and superheroes over  anything DC put out.  (The exception to that being Sgt. Rock, a DC character in charge of a n army company in WWII.)  For the most part, I preferred Spider-man and The Incredible Hulk over Superman and the rest of the seemingly flawless cadre over at DC.  Why?  Because even at the tender age of 10 I had become a cynic.  I knew that real people had character defects and problems in their lives.  And the worst thing Superman had to deal with was someone discovering his secret identity.  (Although how anyone could be fooled just because a guy wore glasses in his alter identity was beyond me, even then...)

     So I naturally gravitated to the Marvel heroes because they seemed more real.  And, it seems, a certain title might have had a more profound effect on me than I realized.  I was flipping through blogs yesterday and found an entry which just said something to the effect of "Greatest Comic Ever?" and a cover of an issue of "The Silver Surfer".  I immediately remembered one of my favorites, the "What If...?" series put out by Marvel.  I was in the process of responding when an unfortunate power outtage made me lose the connection (so I can't find the original blogger's entry...)

     By 1989, when I first came across books by Harry Turtledove and other alternate history writers, I thought I had happened on a new and fascinating medium.  But yesterday's events triggered a memory in my deep past.  I used to love "What If..?"  The concept here is a main character, called the Watcher, who can see not only into our universe, but into many other alternate universes as well.  Each issue took the reality we know of a superhero and told a story as if some important event in the character's life had been different, which is exactly how alternate history novels are written.  The first series ran from 1977-1984.  It has been revived a couple of times since then, but the fondly remembered ones are from that era.

     Here we found such titles as "What If Spider-man Had Joined the Fantastic Four?",  "What If the Fantastic Four had Different Powers?", and my personal favorite "What if Conan the Barbarian Walked the Earth Today?"  In this one, a critical event in Conan's life changes and he is transported through time to modern-day (1977) Manhattan (in the process probably causing the 1977 blackout...)  He makes out with a well-endowed lady cabdriver and discovers that the Guggenheim Museum is an inverted clone of the ancient temple where he fell through the time warp.

At 48, I still like comics, but this is the only one i would actively try to get the entire run of (if I ever became rich enough to buy them... Some of them run as much as $32)

Break Time is Over

Thats enough of the goofing off. I'm regenerating the blogs again. Even if I have to stay up after work to come up with material.

Here he comes! There he goes!

Due to numerous problems with my old computer, (including the fact that it had Windows 98 on it and I had no chance of upgrading with the system I had), I have been having trouble getting on to here and a few other sites. I invested in a new system yesterday. With the package deal, I got Windows 7, a far bigger gig, and let's just say I can whip in and out of the drive-thru before the next person has even decided what to order.

No more freezes, no more problems with certain websites not being accessible or usable (Facebook let me log on, but I couldn't do squat when I got there). I guess since my home PC sat idle for 3 years while I worked on other financial priorities, like a new car, I should have expected it to be obsolete, but I really thought I could make do. Apparently not. But now I'm in the 2010s. And good to go until this one becomes obsolete (I'm guessing sometime next Tuesday...?)

After 3 years of simply making the library my second home, especially for internet access, I am now able to do this stuff from home again. Blazing trails where no man dares to tread, now I can be free to let my muse run wild (which it often does at odd hours, so be prepared for 2am updates...)

10 Things that Make Me Happy

Got this from Howard's In Purple I'm Stunning 2.0 blog. Thanks, Howard.

10 Things That Make Me Happy

10. Comedians. I'm a nut myself, and a bizarre one at that, so it should come as no surprise that my favorite is Steven Wright, but I like all comedians.

9. Pizza. A diet book I'm reading says I should give up cheese. Either I'm going to throw the book in the trash or i'm going to have to find a pizza place that will make mine with imitation cheese, because I'm not giving up this indulgence.

8. Writing. I am a creative animal. Although I am not as active as I have been in the past, I have crafted poems and a few short stories. Nothing published as yet, but that's not the point for me.

7. Sudoku. A logic puzzle that involves numbers but does not require any math to solve. If you don't know what it is, you should check it out. Like chess, it's easy to learn, but sometimes hard to solve the conundrum of success.

6. History. I majored in history when I was still trying to gain a degree. Like to tour historical sites, and, a weird side of me likes to wander through old cemetaries looking at tombstones.

5. Reading. Love to read. My earliest recollection of childhood is being taught to read by Mary Phillips, a HS student who I imagine went on to be a teacher. We read a Bugs Bunny book.

4. Movies. I never got around to getting the HD converter (nothing on TV worth watching anyway except sports). I watch a lot of movies on DVD as a result, and like to spend time after work relaxing with one.

3. Pennie. I acquired the job as caretaker and facilitator of the lifestyle of a grey tabby while I was on unemployment. She is a very independent creature, but when I turn on my car alarm at 2am on arriving home, more often than not she hears it and is up in the window waiting on me. I named her "Pennie" with the "ie" at the end instead of a "y' just to be different.


2. Valentine's Day. For years I have had a tradition of sending a carnation 9or in more prosperous years a rose) to each of my female coworkers at work. Not for any expected liaison, just for the pure enjoyment of brightening their days.

1. The Dallas Cowboys losing: Living in Texas and not liking the misnamed "America's Team" can be hell. It sure makes it better when I can go out the door floating in stead of drug down by gloating fans.

Super Bowl XLIV

The New Orleans Saints used to be the whipping boys of the NFL. Everybody loved when the Saints were on the schedule because it usually meant a win. (Kinda like the Detroit Lions are these days.) They had a few stellar seasons, but even then they almost always lost in the first playoff game.

My late fiancee, Glenda, was an example of the true Saints fan, faith exemplified in the fact that she never gave up on them, and although I never met her before their new heyday, I'd be willing to wager she never wore a bag over her head to a game. She was the personification of true fan. I hope wherever she was in the next life she's gone on to, she got to see this triumph.

The Saints are third on my list of teams to root for (the first two being the Houston Texans and the second being whoever is playing the Dallas Cowboys), so i was at a bar watching the game with lots of fans for both sides. The contingent of N.O. rooters was pretty silent the first half, but I did my best to keep up their spirits with comments like "They started slow against Minnesota, too."

"Who Dat?" Nation has a right to celebrate. Wish I could be in the French Quarter this week.




I quit drinking back in June of last year, so this was my first time to watch a Super Bowl sober since about 1979 (when I was still under age...) For that reason, I guess some of the commercials that I might have liked when I was drinking came off as just plain annoying sober. The Bud Light commercial where the people build a bridge of bodies to get the beer truck across a gorge where the real bridge was down was one of those. As far as the commercials, Betty White and Abe Vigoda playing football in the Snickers commercial, the fiddling beaver for Monster.com and the one for kgb, a communications company, I think, in which two guys had to find out how to say "I surrender" in Japanese to a sumo wrestler (the loser says "Bring it on fat man") were the funniest.

Now I have to endure a six-month long dry spell until the next season starts, but it was a great ending for a 2009-10 season.

Lets try this again.

OK, so this makes about 100 times that I have said I'm going to be more diligent in my blogging (if you add the number of times I've promised on ...and then I read, my book report blog. (Which by the way hasn't had a new report since sometime last year, but I hope to rectify that soon).

My job has granted me 10 hour days plus as of this week, mandatory overtime on Saturdays too. Which means I will have to bust my butt to keep to my promise to do this schedule, but I will try my damndest. Note any holidays will disrupt the schedule due to the library being closed, but otherwise, I will make this my schedule for posts.

I am moving my movie night to Saturday. so we start out like this:

Sunday: Saturday Night at the Movies: Same as before, I will review a movie, most of the time it will be one I borrowed from the library, but occasionally I will rent new releases.

Monday: Barguments: A book I just bought which has interesting discussions you can debate in a bar. I will be giving my answers to the questions.


Tuesday: Bingo of the Week: for Scrabbleheads, I will hightlight a seven-letter bingo for use. Most of the time I will try to find more obscure ones that you might not think of even if you have the tiles needed.

Friday: Friday Funnies: Jokes, humor, cartoons, something to kick of your weekend.


Bear with me on this schedule, I will make every effort to follow it.

Not this time, 'Boys.

I live in what Dallas Cowboy fans smugly crow is "Cowboys Country" (although the city where I live is about 50+ miles closer to Houston than Dallas, so it really is more Texans Country, but a high IQ, or even the semblance of an IQ period, was never a requirement for status as a Dallas Cowboys fan...). I am not alone in this area as a fan of the other team when it comes to the Cowboys, but I do consider myself the ultimate anti- Dallas fan. To wit: If my other team's winning a game means the Cowboys go to the playoffs, I will root for my team to lose. That hasn't been the case yet, but if it ever does happen, watch and see if I don't.

It never fails around here. They beat an inferior team and all of a sudden, Super Bowl rings are in the definite future THIS season for Cowboy fans. I told any of them who would listen, which admittedly were few and far between, that Minnesota was not Philidelphia, either as a team or a venue for a game. The Minnesota Vikings play in a domed stadium, and anyone who has ever been to one can tell you, domed stadiums are rough for the visiting team (and their fans). Noise is a big factor, especially if the home team gets an early start. I only watched the game, but TV has a way of bringing it live and in color into your own living room these days, what with improvements in technology.

So it is with great happiness that I watched the Vikings destroy the Cowboys chances of a Super Bowl visit once again. The final straw that breaks the camel's back and makes Cowboy fans jump ship? I'm nowhere near that idealistic. But it will shut up the guys at work about a Super Bowl this year. So peace will reign until next month, when the draft happens, and they start up again about "Look who we got this year... Super Bowl." Yeah, shut up.

Show Me the Money

I have been doing several things at work that a supervisor is supposed to do. I filled in over the past few years when our last supervisor was on vacation. The sad news is he passed away the day before Thanksgiving.

I continued to fill in, doing things like locking up over the holidays and checking on the night's production, the same things I did when he was not there. But I never expected (nor for that matter, really wanted the responsibility of) the official supervisor's job, which would have included an increase in pay, but also an increase in responsibility.

Of course, sure enough, they called back another of my fellow formerly laid off coworkers, and gave him the supervisor's job. Yesterday, I was asked why I hadn't filled out the paperwork for shift production on Monday. I informed the person in charge that that should now be the job of the official supervisor, and that I had told him the night before where the paperwork was and what to do to fill it out.

The PIC wanted me to still do that, but I was insistent that if our former supervisor had been in charge of doing it, then it should now be the job of the person hired to replace him. I think the PIC might be a little afraid of confronting new people because he seemed reluctant to go talk to the new supervisor, but I remained steadfast in the fact that I should not be doing what a supervisor was paid to do.

Sometimes you gotta just bite the bullet. Stepping up to fill in where needed is something I seem to be willing to do, but doing the job of another seems to me akin to being paid minimum wage to be a doctor.

The Schedule (subject to change at the author's whim, or lack of computer access...)

Now that I am back online, here is what you can expect as regular features in the coming weeks, months and years (assuming God lets me live beyond today.)

Monday: Sunday Night at the Movies: Each Sunday, I will be setting aside time to watch either a classic movie of bygone days or a recently released movie. You can except a no-holds barred criticism or a gushing accolade or something in-between on my Monday report.

Wednesday: Bingo of the Week: I'm bringing back a feature I tried to get going last time around for any Scrabble-heads out there reading this blog. For those who don't know, in Scrabble, a bingo is a word that uses all 7 letters in your rack.

Friday: Smile, the Weekend's Coming: This will be a feature containing jokes and cartoons I either heard or found on the net.



Anything else will be at my whim. I'll try to keep it interesting.

The Return of the Quigg-man

I had nothing for 8 months, but now I'm back. You can chalk up a lot of the dry spell to the fact that I spent 6 months of it on the unemployment line and wasn't in the mood to do much, but I'm back.

Don't Rock the Boat

First off the boat, excuse the pun, I want to post the classic Bill Cosby Noah pieces from his album "Bill Cosby is a Very Funny Fellow, Right!"

There's fella by the name of Noah, built an ark. Everybody knows he built an ark. You say "What did Noah do?" "Well he built an ark" But very few people know about the conversation that went on between the Lord and Noah. You see Noah was in his rec. room sawing away, he was making a few things for the home there. He was a good carpenter...

Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa, whoompa

Noah!

Somebody call?

Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa

Noah!

Who is that?

It's the Lord, Noah

Right! Where are ya? What you want? I've been good.

I want you to build an Ark

Right! Whats an Ark?

Get some wood build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.

Right! Whats a cubit?

Lets see a cubit...I used to know what a cubit was Well don't worry about that Noah. When you get that done go out into the world and collect all of the animals in the world by twos male and female, and put them into the ark.

Right! Who is this really? What's going on? How come you want me to do all these weird things?

I'm going to destory the world

Right! Am I on Candid Camera? How you gonna do it?

I'm gonna make it rain for a thousand days and drown 'em right out.

Right! Listen to this, you'll save water Let it rain for 40 days and 40 nights a nd wait for the sewers back up.

Right!



I just wondering, What would be the effect of an Ark on the average neighbour?
Now, here's a guy going to work, 7 o'clock in the morning Noahs next door neighboor and he sees the Ark.

Hey! You up there!

What you want?

What is this?

It's an Ark.

Aha You wanna get it outta my driveway? I gotta get to work Listen, what this thing for anyway?

I can't tell you Hahahahaha!

Well, I mean can't you give me a little hint?

You wanna a hint?

Yes, please

How long can you tread water? Hahahah!



'Course Noah had a heck of a job really He had to go out and collect all the animals in the world, by two's... Two mosquitoes, male or female. And, uh, he had to keep telling the rabbits "Only two, only two, only two."
So we find Noah pulling up the last two animals, two hippos and he's really in a hurry to get em up because hes afraid that the Lords gonna call him and ask him to do something else. And his nevers are shot This is one heck of a job for a man 600 years old. So we find him pulling up the two last hippos and of course the Lord does call him there.

Com'on fat hippos hurry up Com'on will you please?
Noah!

What? What you want?

Gotta take one of those hippos out and bring in another one.

What for?

'Cause you got two males down there and you need to bring in a female.

I'm not bringin' nothin' in. You change one of em'

Com'on you know I don't work like that.

Well I'm sick and tired of this I've had enough of this stuff. I've been working all day, working on it for days and days. I'm sick and tired of this.

Noah!

Yeah?

How long can you tread water?

Yeah, well I got news for you . I'm sick and tired of this whole mess. The whole neigborhood's out there laughing at me. They're all having a grand time at good old old Noah there. I went out there at my best friend Larry.

"I've been talking to the Lord, Larry"
Larry said "Oh, really?"
"Yeah yeah Lord, Larry, Larry, Lord"

You walked off laughing and I hear 'em all laughing at me. You know I'm the only guy in this neighbourhood with an Ark? People around here laughing, picket signs walking up and down. I'm sick and tired of this stuff here. People walking around here..."How you doing Tarzan? How's everything up there?" Sick and tired of this mess here. You supposed to know all and see all. You let me go out there a nd bring in a pregnant elephant, you give me no manual for delivery or nuthin' Never told me the thing was pregnant. There's good old Naoh waitin' underneath the elephant there......Brrrrroooooooooom Right on top. Sick and tired of this mess here I've had enough all this stufff or you runnin' around. You supposed to know all and see all like I said before. You let me go out there and do all this stuff here, you never even looked in the bottom of that Ark. Have you looked down there? No! Who's gonna clean up that mess down there? Not me, I tell you. I've had enough of this stuff. I tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm letting all these animals out, and I'm gonna burn down this Ark and I'm going to Florida somewhere ause you haven't done nothin' I'm sick and tired of all this mess, you foolin' around and you haven't done nothin... and now you got it..... rainin'

It's not a shower is it? Ok Lord me and you right 'cause I knew it all the time.....


And now some rules to live by from Noah's Ark:


1. Don't miss the boat.

2. Try to remember that we're all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark, you know.

4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do
something REALLY big.

5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

8. Two heads are better than one.

9. Speed isn't always an advantage; after all, the snails were on
board with the cheetahs.

10. When you're stressed, try floating awhile.

11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; it was the Titanic
that was built by professionals.

12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than storms
outside.

13. No matter what the difficulty, trust in the Almighty: There'll be
a rainbow at the end of the storm.


Have a grat day.

Time

Well, here it is almost two weeks later, abd with all the free time I have (no new job yet), I still haven't posted much of anything. At least I am still alive.

Hoping to get back on track starting tomorrow.

Layoffs Hit Home

I've been in a funk since Monday. Not only did I get laid off, but they waited around until after I clocked in to tell me.

To understand the reason why this is bad, you have to understand that I go in an hour early, and sit and read in the break room until time to clock in. This is not an occasional thing, this is every day routine. Not only that, but all the bosses KNEW I was there, so why wait until I clocked in to tell me? For that matter, why not call me to come in early, so I could get a quicker jump on the day?

I've been given to understand that I will be getting around $400 a week from unemployment, so it will be close to what I was pulling before the layoff. And given time, (and intelligence in D.C. [uh-oh]) the economy will bounce back. Until then, I will be even more sporadic here than I have been. Just not in the mood.

How to Drive Like an A*hole in 6 EZ Lessons.

1. If you are on a two-lane road, drive five miles under the speed limit. Speed up when anyone tries to pass you.

2. When coming to a stop sign, if you are turning right, look to see if someone is coming. If they are more than 100 feet away, go ahead and pull out in front of them. They need to make sure their btakes work, after all.

3. If your lane is ending up ahead, no need to move into the other lane until it actually does end. But do it so that the guy in the other lane is forced to hit his brakes to allow you in front.

4. Never, never, ever use your turn signal. Keep those jerks behind guessing what you are going to do.


5. When driving through a parking lot, be sure to keep the car moving. Don't worry about the pedestrians, they'll get out of the way if they know what's good for them.

6. When on a four-lane or larger road, ride the car in front of you's bumper. Never mind that there's an empty lane next to you. You can't be passing someone with only one hand on the wheel, and you are on the cell phone with the other, so let them tough it out.

Where is Sanity?

"Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"

The news is out and it's not good. We are just one level away from a full blown pandemic. People are worried about this swine flu that has, so far, has not killed any U.S. citizens. The one death, in texas, turned out to be Mexican national, on a visit in the U.S. with parents. All U.S. citizens who have contracted it have gotten over it.

Yet schools all over Texas are temporarily closing their doors. My workplace has suspended any plant meetings for two weeks. (At the same time, they have not told people to take staggered lunch breaks, so everyone still congregates in the break room at the same time.)

According to an article on theage , the World Health Organisation claims that there are only 7 confirmed deaths from this new swine flu, and all of them in Mexico. it also says that only countries who have had contact with Mexican nationals have contracted the disease. In other words, these countries who are banning meat and killing pigs are overreacting.

Panic in the streets is never good. If we start cringing every time someone near us coughs (as someone across the table is doing at this very instant) then we might as well lock ourselves in a hermetically sealed room until the air raid sirens tell us that it's safe to come out.

Facebook Is Sapping My Soul

I'm way behind on my blog and Facebook is to blame. I didn't get a Bingo of the Week posted here Saturday, and almost nothing at all for 4 whole days because some dumb S.O.B. set me up with a Facebook account. (Oh, wait a minute, I guess that dumb S.O.B. would be me...)

Its not just that. Some of my best humor is going up on Facebook, where it only lasts for a day at the most, rather than here, where it is more permanent and readily accessible. That's like being a stand-up comic in a chat room. Sure, some people will laugh, but unless the tapes are rolling, it will not be left for posterity. Just think where we'd be if no one had taped Richard Pryor or George Carlin or Lenny Bruce.

Not that I'm comparing myself to those geniuses of wit. Just pointing out that time is a fleeting thing, and if I ignore the future in favor of the present, there will only be a few vague memories of things past.

Death of a DVD Player

My Wednesday Night at the Movies entries will be on movies that I have previously seen for the next few weeks. Last night I discovered, to my chagrin, that my 4 year-old DVD player was no longer working. It rattles and clicks around when I put a DVD in, then tells me I have a "Bad Disc", even when I put a brand new disc in. I don't know if it can be repaired, and if I have to buy a new one, it will be about a month or so before finances will open up enough that I can buy a cheap one from Wal-Mart.